The Unitarian
on line

March 2010
A Publication of First Unitarian Church of South Bend, Indiana

Minister’s Meditation The Rev. Harold W. Beu, Minister Walking Together Don’t walk in front of me. I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me. I may not lead. Walk beside me. And just be my friend. – Albert Camus Perhaps the most famous quote by Paul is from the 13th Chapter of First Corinthians: If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. [Revised Standard Version] It is a quote often used in weddings. It is a good thought but a little idealistic in my book, because I think it darn near impossible all the time not to be jealous, boastful, arrogant, rude, irritable or resentful in a marriage, or indeed in life. We are, after all, human beings. That is where forgiveness comes in, for without forgiveness, I don’t think a marriage or any intimate relationship has much of a chance. And as to the idea of not rejoicing in the wrong, well, perhaps, Paul did not hear of the word schadenfreude, a main staple in our celebrity obsessed culture. But I also believe that there is a more important principle in making a relationship work than love: respect. Love certainly makes us feel good and is a powerful feeling, but love without respect leads to all kinds of problems. We know that people can do awfully crazy things in the name of love. Think of Romeo and Juliet. Of course, part of the problem is linguistics, because Paul is talking about a pure kind of love, what the Greeks may call agape, which may be seen as a combination of love [that is emotional] and respect [which is volitional]. But what I like about this quote is the idea of putting in perspective the importance of love compared to other principles in our lives. Love is that which draws us together into a relationship or community; faith and wisdom do not. I thought about this in connection with what I consider most important for our church – the spiritual health of the community. By that I mean a congregation where people enjoy the company of each other, experience spiritual renewal, do good works and are committed to the principles of our liberal faith as well as to the well-being of the institution. Thus, I might paraphrase the First Corinthians quote by saying: If we have a congregation in the thousands, but have not spiritual health, we gain nothing. If we have a church building the size of and as beautiful as the Mormon Tabernacle, but have not spiritual health, we gain nothing. And if we have a church with a budget in the millions, but have not spiritual health, we gain nothing. I certainly experienced that spiritual health at our 58th anniversary celebration, moderated by Dale Gibson. I especially enjoyed the speakers as they gave an accounting of the sweep of our history touching on the various decades. The chili cook-off was also wonderful as we had taste tests of seven kinds of chili [I had no idea there could be so many kinds of chili]. At any rate, I felt a sense of good cheer and good will among the people at that event. It both reflected and helped to enhance the spiritual health of our church community. Now, practical issues about money, the building and size of the congregation have their place. But again, no matter what the size of our congregation, budget or building, I work always so as to enhance the spiritual health of our community. For it is that quality, more than any other, that endures. Faithfully yours, Harold March Tue 2 5:30 pm South Bend Equality (community group) Library     7:00 pm Finance Committee Library Wed 3 7:00 pm Mah Jongg Room 5 Thu 4 9:30 am Parents’ Morning Out Rooms 1-2 Fri 5 6:00 pm Women’s Potluck Sanctuary Sun 7 10:30 am “Growing Old Ungracefully” Potluck lunch follows Service Rev. Harold W. Beu     12:30 pm OWL Room 4 Tue 9 7:00 pm Worship Arts Committee off site Wed 10 9:00 am RE Committee Room 1-2     7:00 pm Committee on Ministry Minister’s Study     7:30 pm Issues in Aging Library Thu 11 12:30 pm Mah Jongg Room 5 Sat 13 10:00 am World Religions (class) Sanctuary     evening Round Robin Dinners off site Sun 14 9:30 am Care Committee Library     10:30 am “On Respond-ability: A Stewardship Sermon” Stewardship Sunday Rev. Beu     12:00 pm Stewardship Luncheon Sanctuary     12:30 pm OWL (tentative) Room 4 Tue 16 5:30 pm South Bend Equality (community group) Library Wed 17 6:45 pm Board of Trustees Library     7:00 pm Mah Jongg Room 5 Thu 18 9:30 am Parents’ Morning Out Rooms 1-2     7:30 pm Committee for Peace and Justice (core committee meets at 7:00) Library Fri 19 6:30 pm Card Party Sanctuary Sat 20 6:30 pm SPIRAL Ostara Celebration off site     7:00 pm Movie Night Sanctuary Sun 21 10:30 am “The Public Church” Rev. Beu     11:45 am Feedback Session Library     ca.12:00 pm Brunch Bunch off site     6:30 pm New U Orientation Room 4 Thu 25 12:30 pm Mah Jongg Room 5 Fri 26 6:00 pm RE Teachers Appreciation Dinner Sanctuary Sun 28 10:30 am “An Atheist Spirituality” Bob Asplund     11:45 am Feedback Session Library     6:30 pm New U Orientation Room 4 Wed 31 6:30 pm Wednesday Night Feasters Room 4 Sunday Services for March March 7: “Growing Old Ungracefully” – It is interesting that when I was teaching in alternative education, I often felt that I was more alive than my students. Most of them had lived hard lives coming from hard circumstances and their spirit had grown weary. But of course, I was older, much older. That begs the question: what does it mean to be old and to grow old. I will try to find out and share with you an answer. Rev. Harold W. Beu March 14: “On Respond-ability: A Stewardship Sunday Sermon” – I hope that I can with this sermon make clear the meaning of responsibility, why it is important and why it benefits us to be responsible. For the happiest people, I believe, are those who are. And of course, without responsible people supporting our church, there would be no church. Rev. Harold W. Beu March 21: “The Public Church” – Michael Durall wrote an article called “Reach out and become a public church” in the 2009 Fall edition of UU World. In it he posits the idea that Unitarian Universalist churches would do well to take a public stance in supporting projects that promote peace and social justice. He makes his case based on both morality and practicality. Here I will share my response to his article. Rev. Harold W. Beu March 28: “An Atheist Spirituality” – Bob Asplund Dream, Stretch, Realize – Repeat As evidenced by our weekly Tales of Giving segments, we are fast approaching our annual campaign in which each of us is asked to commit a pledge of our personal treasure to sustain our community. This year our Stewardship Committee has adopted as its theme the words you see above. There are many ways in which one could interpret the phrase – but let’s start with this: We should each try to envision what we think our community could look like, could accomplish, and what our role in it could be. That’s the dream. Next, since we’re all grown-ups – we know that great results don’t come easily. We each need to decide what extra effort – whether it be time or treasure (or both) we can make to forward the dream. That’s the stretch. When these things have been done we will have realized the result. But then it will be time for a new dream... and so it goes. The drive will officially start on Sunday March 14. Harold Beu will lead the service and there will be a luncheon afterwards. Anyone interesting in assisting the Stewardship Committee in the two week campaign is encouraged to attend a brief meeting on Saturday, March 6 at 10:00 am at the church. There are folks in our community who will not be able to do what they have done in the past or what they would like to do. We know that. The committee respectfully suggests that we all consider that those of us who can, do our best to step in for those of us who can’t. Thank you. Your Stewardship Committee: Don Wheeler, Rich Wallace, Kay Azar, Jim Curlee, Mark Kricheff Care Committee Lois Holm has had several complications following her hip surgery. She and her husband Dan request healing energy as she goes through the rehabilitation. They are thankful for the support they have received from the church community. Condolences are offered to Nancy Coiro whose mother died in January and the Mullen family who recently lost their baby John shortly after brain surgery. Thank you to all who practice “random acts of kindness” or intentional assistance to those who have a need. If you know of someone who is experiencing a difficult time (illness, injury, surgery, loss of a loved one, etc.), please contact someone on the Care Committee so that we can offer help. Don’t assume that we already know! By the very nature of its purpose, the Care Committee deals with information that is confidential. We share information about a person in need only to the extent that that person desires. When appropriate, we will try to share the joy of care giving with the larger church community. Care Committee: Mary Hagen, Lynn McDonald, Betty Asplund, Alice Bentley, Dale Gibson, Joy Pletcher, Ellen Triebold. Membership Alrighty folks – who dat’ wanna play dem cards?? Come to Card Night on Friday March 19 at 6:30 pm in the sanctuary. Sign up sheets are posted on the bulletin board by the kitchen. Gin, Rummy, Euchre, Poker and lively conversations!!! Bring your favorite card game and teach the rest of us. This is a BYOB event. Bring a snacky thing to share. For more information – call Dave Wistreich. There will be a “New U Orientation” on March 21 and March 28 at 6:30 pm. This workshop, in two 2-hour sessions, gives new and prospective members an opportunity to learn about this church, the breadth of its theological umbrella, the committees and their activities, and to meet one another and share experiences. A sign up sheet is posted on the bulletin board by the kitchen. Child care will be provided if you need it. Inaugural Inter-Committee Meeting When we think of ministry, we often think of “the” minister of a congregation and everything that individual provides in areas such as worship, pastoral care, etc. But, when we consider that “ministry” is defined simply as the act of serving, we can see that all active congregants share in this role. So then the question becomes: How do we share in the ministry of our church? Do our committees work in isolation from each other and from the Board, or do we communicate and work collectively toward common goals? To strengthen our collaboration, the Committee on Ministry organized and facilitated a meeting on January 23 for committee chairs and members, as well as Board liaisons and Rev. Beu. Participants shared current progress and future plans, as well as ways to improve communication among committees, and between committees and the Board, minister and congregation. We have already begun implementing several ideas generated at the meeting that should significantly improve communication – a monthly Inter-Committee Report distributed to committee chairs and Board members and posted for congregants; a list of committee chairs and members with contact information for distribution and posting; three Inter-Committee meetings per year coordinated by the Committee on Ministry; and an annual calendar of church activities and events. As the Board of Trustees oversees the operations of the church, the Committee on Ministry aims to oversee the quality of our relationships. In Rev. Beu’s first year of settled ministry, we hope to have laid some important groundwork. Feedback Sundays Please join the Committee on Ministry on March 21 and 28 in the library following the Sunday Service to discuss this year’s efforts and future ideas in the areas of community-building, worship and lifespan faith development. Each session will run for approximately one hour and incorporate other areas of congregational life that are of interest to those attending. Rev. Beu will attend the session on March 21. Movie Night Saturday, 20 March at 7:00 pm Please note the change in day for our Movie Night. This night we will be witnessing an extraordinary event, the debate between Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson. Actually, Hamilton and Jefferson will be reenacted by historians, Hal Bidlack playing Hamilton and Clay Jenkison playing Jefferson. I had actually seen Clay play Jefferson twice and was amazed, moved and stimulated to think further about the meaning and nature of our democracy. I encourage you to come to this event. Contact me for information. Rev. Harold W. Beu World Religions Class Saturday, 13 March from 10:00 am to noon We continue in our series of using Huston Smith’s book World Religions by also showing a video of Smith discussing Islam with Bill Moyers. Contact Rev. Harold W. Beu for information. Committee for Peace and Justice On Thursday, March 18, the DVD “Meeting David Wilson” will be shown at the church at 7:30 pm. This tells the fascinating story of an African-American journalist, David Wilson, who traces his family’s past to a plantation in North Carolina. What he finds there leads to a momentous encounter. All church members and friends are welcome. The committee itself will meet prior to the showing at 7:00. Food for the Needy – Please remember that the box for collecting food for those in need is now located in our roomy cloakroom. Also, if you forget to bring your canned food, you may now contribute monetarily in the alms box which is located in the sanctuary. Issues in Aging In February we had an informative discussion led by Terry Stahl from the Center for Hospice. It dealt with the importance of having advance directives (living wills, a health care representative, etc.) This month the meeting will be a 7:30 pm on Wednesday, March 10. We will be discussing the implications for adults of the children’s story A House for Hermit Crab. Like the hermit crab, we all must make moves, but when and where should these moves take place. And these moves don’t simply apply to our place of residence. As a basis for discussion, we’ll be using Chapter 2, entitled “The Open Sea”, in the book Out of the Skin Into the Soul. If you don’t have this book, copies of the chapter may be requested from Dale Gibson. Board Notes Treasurer Gary Metzler is positive but cautious regarding our current financial situation and emphasized the importance of receiving pledge payments because that is only source of significant income for remaining four months of our fiscal year. Discussed policy for fundraising and special collections and agreed to let present policy stand. The board is allowing Gary to move forward with a plan to install a mat at the foyer entrance to improve safety and aesthetics. Attention was given to need to establish a Committee on Ministry to replace the current transition committee. The board received a formal letter of resignation from Mary Beth Dickey as our DRE. The board was saddened by the news but so very appreciative of all the years of dedicated service to the children of our congregation. We will post the opening in search of a new DRE in the near future. Rich presented the board with the new endowment brochure. We all read through the document and agreed it was done very well. As always full-length copy of approved minutes is posted on the bulletin board near the kitchen. Church Retreat The annual Church Retreat will be at Lutherwald June 12-13. Plan to attend – mark your calendar now! More information will be posted in the coming months. Religious Education News Can you name the twelve months of the year? According to George Ellis they are: “Snowy, Flowy, Blowy, Showery, Flowery, Bowery, Hoppy, Croppy, Droppy, Breezy, Sneezy, Freezy.” So the month of “Blowy” has arrived at last and brings the first day of Spring and the Feast of the Annunciation Day which celebrates that day is now longer than night, and light has conquered the darkness. (Wasn’t that the plot in a Star Wars movie?) Things are also “march”-ing along downstairs in R.E. this month so get out your calendars! March 7: U.U. Pen Pals to Meet\ On this Sunday the children and the grown-ups who have been secret pen pals for the past month will be introduced to one another during the church service. They will then be invited to sit together during the potluck after church and share a special dessert. Please let Mary Beth know if you are a pen pal (adult or child) and cannot attend on the 7th so we can make other arrangements for you to meet one another. March 14: Spring Equinox Party This day was scheduled as a Family Sunday but because it is also Stewardship Sunday, the R.E. Committee has decided that the children will be upstairs for the first half of the service only. Then the children will go downstairs for an Equinox celebration! With the exception of the teen group, there are no R.E. classes that day. We will need extra hands with the party and with the preschoolers, so please see Mary Beth if you would like to offer your help downstairs. March 26: Teacher Appreciation Dinner On Friday evening, March 26, at 6pm, we are inviting all the R.E. teachers and their families to the annual teacher appreciation spaghetti supper. This is a way for us to say “thank you” to our dedicated teachers for their hard work. It is a fun event and if you help, you get to eat a delicious dinner with us! We need cooks, servers, and cleaner- uppers so please sign up on the sheet by the coat closet door. Help us say thank you to all our wonderful R.E. teachers! Pennies for Peace Did you know that in Pakistan, 1 penny buys a pencil and 15 pennies buys a notebook? Do you have an unspoken-for penny jar in your house? The Intermediate RE Class (4th to 6th Graders) invites you to join in its Pennies for Peace service project. From February 21 through May 9, our class will collect pennies to help educate kids in remote villages in Pakistan and Afghanistan. In this way, we hope to help build a bridge of peace, 1 penny at a time, with our global neighbors. This is a project of the Central Asia Institute, founded by the author of the book Three Cups of Tea. For more information, please talk to someone in our class and/or check out the website www.ikat.org. We will also occasionally have information tables at church and a container for the pennies. Thank you for your help! (from Ellen Triebold and Lisa McCorry) Big R.E. Thank Yous to: Everyone who participated in the U.U. Pen Pal program. The children really love getting your letters. Tama Crisovan, Paige Risser, and Michelle Richards for helping with the Kids’ Connection “Help for Haiti” project and to all of you who purchased items or made a donation. We raised nearly $200 for the U.U.S.C. fund! Elise DeSomer for knitting the cute hats for the Haiti project. Sam Wistreich for helping M.B. with the “clearance sale.” Chuck Leone for the donation of the lovely children’s books for R.E. in memory of Kathy Curtis. Thank you for thinking of us, Chuck. We all miss Kathy. To R.E. Parents All the children who are not in the nursery are to be upstairs with their parents for the beginning of the church service every Sunday. Please do not allow your child to stay downstairs during this time because there are no adults in the classrooms unless they are teachers who are busy setting up for their class time. Some of the older kids have tried to hide downstairs and have even been found playing with the chalice lighter in a classroom. This clearly has to stop. Congratulations To Michelle Richards on the publication of her new book titled, Tending the Flame, The Art of Unitarian Universalist Parenting (Skinner House Books) To Marijke Wijnen for winning a science award at Adams High School for her environmental project. To Shannon Richards for her role in “Beauty and the Beast” at her school in Elkhart. In Sympathy We were all deeply saddened upon learning of the death of Amy and Robert Mullen’s infant son John on February 11. Five month old John had gone through brain cancer surgery but died later at home in LaPorte. We send our loving and healing thoughts to Amy, Robert and their three small children. Our church Care Committee provided cookies for the memorial service in LaPorte on Saturday, February 20th. Special thanks to Lynn McDonald and Mary Hagen from the Care Committee. A New Direction Just to let everyone know, I turned in my letter of resignation as the D.R.E. to the church board on February 17. I will be working through the end of May when R.E. classes end. This has been a difficult decision for me and my family, but after nine years in this position, I feel ready for a new challenge. For the sake of transparency, the letter submitted to the board, which includes a summary of how the R.E. program has evolved, will be posted on the bulletin boards near the kitchen and in the R.E. hallway downstairs. Through this work I have made many friends and grown to love hundreds of children and their families. Thank you all for the support, the trust, and the love you have given me in return. We did it together, and I am blessed and grateful. – Mary Beth Parents’ Morning Out PMO meets in the nursery/preschool area (rooms 1-2) downstairs every other Thursday morning from 9:30-11:30 – that’s March 4 and 18. We have lively discussion on hot topics, while our children play. We love new parents and new children and we’d love for you to join us! We most often have healthy snacks and drinks. Come join us – with or (bless you) without, your children! For more information on our group, or to be added to our yahoo group for announcements, contact Heather Eschbach. SPIRAL The wheel turns to the Spring Equinox – and not a moment too soon!! Even though this winter has not been nearly as severe as last, it still seems endless to me. I have always been a winter person, preferring the cold and snow to the hot, humid days of summer. But I find myself longing for the last of the snow to melt. Maybe it is my love affair with the greenhouse and with the garden so full of good food. My canning closet is getting empty, and besides, how can you compare a canned tomato to one from the garden still warm from the sun and bursting with flavor? And in the spring, how about a fresh salad of garden lettuce, radishes and scallions? As the Spring Equinox arrives, known as Ostara on the Wheel of the Year, we are opening the door to those lovely, fruitful days. Now at last the daylight hours will begin to outdo the darkness; the snow will finally melt for good, revealing small shoots of spring’s first flowers; the peepers will start their joyous song in the wetlands. No matter how chilly it is outside, once the peepers are singing, my bedroom window is open every night. Come help us celebrate this joyous season on Saturday, March 20 at Susan Siemers’s farm. Potluck at 6:30 followed by one of our favorite rituals. We will make ornaments to hang on a dry branch, and each ornament will have a wish written on it. Then, once the bonfire is roaring, we will pitch the branch onto the fire and watch our wishes burn and fly to the sky! Just a little history – we have done this in snow storms, we have even done this in rain. Try burning up a branch in the rain! We tucked crumbled bits of newspaper among the branches, and we stayed at it until all of the ornament wishes were burned and gone. We are a determined lot! But hopefully this year will be one of the good ones, and it will be a beautiful, clear night. And maybe the peepers will be singing. This is a fun ritual, and one the children will enjoy. We hope to see some new faces, especially some kid’s faces. We will have all of the materials here for making the ornaments, but bring your own if you like. Just make sure they are burnable. To get to the farm from South Bend, use an internet program like MapQuest or Googlemaps to get to 2814 Plymouth LaPorte Trail, Walkerton, IN. It will get you to my mailbox. From the mailbox, proceed about 50' on my neighbor’s drive, then turn left onto my drive at the gatepost with green sign that reads “2814.” My drive is over a half mile long, not visible from the road. If you have any questions, email at susan@ceres-co.com. Mah Jongg A small but dedicated group has been meeting weekly at the church to play American mah jongg, using the National Mah Jongg League’s rules. Mah jongg, which literally means “clattering sparrows” is similar to gin rummy, but uses lovely tiles with Chinese characters on them, which make a clattering sound when shuffled at the beginning of each game. If you are interested in joining us, please contact Lynn McDonald. Schedule: Wednesday, March 3, 7:00 pm Thursday, March 11, 12:30 pm Wednesday March 17, 7:00 pm Thursday, March 25, 12:30 pm All sessions are held in Room 5 on the lower level. Wednesday Night Feasters The Feasters will gather on March 24 at Pat’s Colonial Pub, Mishawaka. For more information or reservations, call Cathy Duncan. Future Feasts: Apr.28 Elias, Roseland May 26 Heinnie’s, Elkhart June 30 Carrabbas, Mishawaka July 28 Tabor Hill Winery, Michigan Aug. 25 El Maguey, Elkhart Sep. 29 Wings, Etc., Mishawaka Oct. 27 Katie O’Connors’, New Carlisle Nov. 23 (Tue) Houlihan’s, Mishawaka Dec. 29 Riverfront Café, Niles Round Robin Church members and friends gather in homes on the second Saturday evening of each month for a carry-in dinner. Food and fellowship, cuisine and conversation – maybe even a quick game or two. It’s a great way to get better acquainted with your fellow travelers. You might even consider hosting a dinner – nothing fancy is required, just a welcoming home. If you plan to attend the March 13 dinners, please let Kathy Vetter know by Saturday March 6. Women’s Potluck The First Friday Woman’s Potluck will be March 5 at 6:00 at the church. Gail deSomer will host. RSVP to her if you plan to attend – by Wednesday, March 3 if childcare is needed. Outside Our Doors Movies 14 will host the one-night event “Half the Sky” at 7:30 pm on Thursday, March 4 with stories from the book by Kristof and WuDunn, musical performances and more in celebration of International Women's Day. You can check it out at http://www.ncm.com/Fathom/OriginalPrograms/event/Half_The_Sky.aspx. We’re an Amazon.com Associate The church is an Amazon.com associate. That means you can click on the Amazon logo on our home page oranywhere you see an Amazon.com link on our site, do your shopping and benefit the church at the same time. You can shop Amazon.com for books, videos, CDs, housewares, and much more plus shop online stores such as Target and Macy’s, and we still receive a percentage of the sale price. [You must click through from an Amazon.com link on our web site each time you shop in order for the church to get credit.] Most books listed on our site have a direct link to Amazon.com. Previous Newsletter