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“Happiness is the whole aim and end of human existence.”
“But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?”
“The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.”
Happiness is a state that occurs when you possess twelve indispensable qualities the sum of which is happiness.
Dan Baker’s Twelve Qualities of Happiness are Love, Optimism, Courage, Freedom, Proactivity, Security, Health, Spirituality, Altruism, Perspective, Humor and Purpose.
- Love – An essential part of happiness and the result of releasing fear that is centered in the emotions.
- Optimism – The positive energy of the universe – yes instead of no.
- Courage – A weapon to combat fear.
- Courage to act – acting instead of reacting.
- Courage to love – a willingness to be vulnerable.
- Courage to be – self-acceptance and forgiveness.
- Freedom – The ability to have choices.
- Proactivity – Actively participating in your destiny, creating the life you desire. An essential part of courage.
- Security – A strong sense of self-worth that allows you to be courageous.
- Health – It’s hard to feel happy if you are in pain or debilitated.
- Spirituality – Feeling connected to a higher being or a community of others on a spiritual quest extends who you are to a broader horizon.
- Altruism – Giving of yourself to others fulfills a sense of purpose and feeling needed.
- Perspective – Seeing the big picture, not sweating the small stuff.
- Humor – A shift in perception that can relieve a suffering heart or just make you laugh so hard you pee your pants.
- Purpose – Understanding why you are here and why you’re doing the things you do.
In his book Dan Baker describes Six Happiness Tools.
- Multidimensional living
- A key to happiness is to find a full life with more than one important element of your life.
- Find a balance including work, relationships, health, and personal growth.
- Life is a combination of the L’s: labor, love, leisure and learning. I would also include laughing, lingerie and leftovers.
- Don’t let your life hang on one element alone – don’t ignore a part of your life.
- Another happiness tool is the power of language and stories
- A key to happiness is to tell the positive story of your life
- Retelling your last crisis to everyone you meet reinforces your life as one of crisis.
- If you’re always telling horror stories then that is what your life is and will continue to become.
- Personal Power is a happiness tool.
- Autonomy improves happiness.
- The biological circuitry of fear is an enemy of happiness.
- Victimization - They did that to me!
- Entitlement - I deserve more than I have.
- Rescue - I will be saved from this.
- Blame – That person is to blame.
- A key to happiness is to take responsibility and take action.
- Accept yourself unconditionally and believe in your own abilities.
- You must also be willing to accept that you have things yet to learn.
- Choice is a happiness tool.
- Decide to be happy.
- Without the power of choice, learned helplessness develops.
- Fear is a reaction to a situation not a choice – choose your reaction to life’s adventures. The biological circuitry of fear is an enemy of happiness.
- Choose to look for the positive.
- Keep your happiness threshold low – have a low bar above which you label an experience as positive. Be easily pleased.
- Choose not to think about the people and things that bother you and don’t dwell on conflicts that can’t be won.
- Leading with your strengths is a happiness tool.
- Focus on your strengths.
- Fixate on your strengths and you will be more able to solve your problems.
- What are you best at and how can that be used every day?
- Appreciation is the happiness power tool. This is the circular saw or drill press of happiness.
- Enjoy what you have.
- It’s the opposite of worry, catastrophization – dwelling on the worst-case scenarios.
- Do an Appreciation Audit: Take 3-5 minutes to think about something that you deeply appreciate or list the Top 5 things that you appreciate.
- One is incapable of being in a state of fear if you are in a state of appreciation.
- Focus on hope not tragedy.
Other things you can do to be happy
- Smile.
- Laugh.
- Listen to music.
- Read.
- Enjoy the company of animals
- Have some fun.
- Sleep well.
- Say “Hooray for me!”
- Don’t say “Hooray for me!” too much.
- Do what you are good at.
- Help someone – perform random acts of kindness.
- Acknowledge your mortality and prepare for it.
- Have a purpose.
- Actively seek happiness and have a plan.
- Turn off the TV – if you do watch, do not accept TV’s worldview.
- Keep your family close, especially as you get older.
- Don’t pretend to ignore things about your loved ones that bother you – communicate and be happier.
- Eat fruit.
- Cultivate friendships-shower the people you love with love. Be socially open.
- Be open to new ideas – be flexible.
- Remember where you came from – appreciating one’s ethnic identity improves happiness.
- Don’t face your problems alone.
- Have a household routine.
- Accomplish something every day.
- Have morals.
- Believe in some form of ultimate justice.
- Don’t be overprotective.
- Do what you say you’re going to do.
- Don’t be aggressive with family and friends.
- Don’t confuse stuff with success.
- Root for the home team.
- Be the most reasonable – be a peacemaker and be agreeable.
- Don’t play the “what if” game – don’t compare yours to theirs.
- Set concrete goals and make them reasonable. Vague goals are unattainable and lead to dissatisfaction.
- Don’t blame yourself when bad things happen.
- Exercise.
- Give yourself time to adapt to change – give yourself a break.
- Surround yourself with nice aromas.
“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.”
More Quotes:
- Dan Baker: “Happiness is a state that occurs when you possess twelve indispensable qualities the sum of which is happiness.”
- Aristotle: “Happiness is the whole aim and end of human existence.”
- Gandhi: “Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.”
- Albert Camus: “But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?”
- Allan K. Chalmers: “The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.”
- Frances Rodman: “Just think how happy you would be if you lost everything you have right now, and then got it back again.”
- James M. Barrie: “Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.”
- His Holiness the Dalai Lama: “When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.”
- W. Beran Wolfe: “If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator.”
- Bertrand Russell: “To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.”
- Brother David Steindl-Rast: “Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy – because we will always want to have something else or something more.”
- Denis Waitley: “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.”
- Mark Twain: “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”
References
Freedom from Fear: finding the courage to act, love and be by F. Forrest Church, St. Martin’s Press, New York 2004.
What Happy People Know: How the new science of happiness can change your life for the better by Dan Baker, Ph.D. and Cameron Stauth, St. Martin’s Griffin, New York, 2004
Happiness: Lessons from a new science by Richard Layard, The Penguin Press, New York, 2004
The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People by David Niven, Ph.D., Harper Collins, San Francisco, 2000
Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert, Vintage Books-Random House, New York, 2005 |
